Fuck this and your pretty face

Yours Truely




August 5th 2012

Sooo yeahh this is MY blog. Where I post write and post w.e the fuck I want. LOL imma seem shallow to you guys a lot of times c: But you see I can’t post everything here, since I have a view followers whom ehh, how can I say this ? Hate me. Well yeah imma start putting all my personal shit over here.



August 6th 2012


Niggas over here in my family are crazy. Well not necessarily crazy just stupid and ignorant but I love them. Yeah I know it makes almost no sense but it’s like being a masochist. Well I do enjoy pain, I guess you could say. Like rough sex, that’s that shit I love. Lol yeah I’m not a virgin and judge if you want to, like it doesn’t mean I’m a slut, I have one body so suck my toes putas.

Gahhh I shall write all the bullshit I please in this page trolololol. So yeah I’m here bored like a motherfucker, waiting for my uncle to buy me my own laptop ^.^ yerr imma start writing erryday erryday *Drake voice* 

Allan. This kid that likes me that went to my school last year, which I did not attend at the time. He’s really sweet but I don’t like him like that, but I’m in love with this boy, Jeff. I shall write a lot of entries on him because he’s still an unfinished story in my life.

I wonder sometimes if I did wrong in my life, like right now I’m currently moving to the Dominican Republic AGAIN T_T excuse me but I’m quite of a fuck up .__. my grades were quite poor and the whole getting a “boyfriend” (quote on quote because we were never official and I really don’t care about it) Well if I move I move, I just need to academically boost myself these two school years that I have left till college. Yerr I’ma Junior now niggas ~
 




I kill pride,I hurt feelings ~






I’m mesmerized by those colors though ~


International phone calls. Cuteness all around. Allan is too adorable but he seems to not understand that I’m moving and Jeff wants me to burn my passport when it arrives. Oh fuckery bullshit I live in. I want ice cream and in I am looking forward to go to a Yankee game, which Allan invited me to. I can’t with him sometimes, but let the future do whatever the fuck it wants with “us” if there is an us. Jeff, that name that just makes me get butterflies from only hearing it. His love for me is profound, as mine for him. But shit happens and friends backstabb you and people need to leave  the country *sigh*
 

August 7th 2012

So I get woken up this morning to go to this dentist appointment like I fell asleep at like 5 am … I’m the dentist and shit and like for all this “governmental” bullshit I can’t even go to the dentist without proof from an adult that I was there like okayy. Anyways my uncle comes to the dentist to give permission and all that  bullshit, so I take his phone and log into facebook like every other day and I have 4 messages, 3 irrelevant fucks (lol no 3 of my friends) and a message from him. I read it and I could bearly contain my tears, like so many emotions from one long ass beautiful, moving, honest paragraph.    God why must shit like this happen to me ?! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK MY LIFE, FUCK EVERYTHING, FUCK MY LIFE, FUCKERY, FUCK THIS BULLSHIT, FUCK *tears* “Tell me I’m your national anthem~” I only wish to be happy,which I can be but without the people and things that make me happy. Why couldn’t I meet him in the future ? When maybe average teenage problems could’ve been solved, no God likes to make me learn shit the hard way *sigh* How can you possibily tell me to try to be with other guys, when I try and it’s fucking impossible, I want too many things in life yoo .___. well not really … some money to live well until I finish college, be with this child .-. , enter Yale LOL imma have to work my ass for that and I WILL CONO. Gahhh love and life = pure fuckery, that enjoy. Maybe it’s lust that I feel for him, nooo it’s love, I think of him every breathing second of my life, well imma go something that my grandma wants -.-  tostones nigga.


8:28 PM 

I wasn’t supposed to be here, to live this life, to move back to DR this year, to not sleep that one night, to not meet him, but things are predetermined and I love the fact that I moved to NYC and met such awesome people, friends and him. Kaithra, Steven, Harlyn (lol he’s a clown), Wasi (nigga actually gives kickass advice, Darlene (my bffl, even though we met in DR, in the 6th grade), Borhan (nigga is a true bro to me like on some RNS), Nailena (saved her from fucking her life up with this douchebag). [[ASDFGHJKL; RANDOM POST: INNER THOUGHTS ARE THE BEST GAHHH.]] Soo anyways LOL yeahh I met awesome people and the most important person, Jeff.
 

August 8th 2012


OMFG last night was unff  ♥.♥ LOL no words needed AT ALL. True people that love eachother do EVERYTHING together lolololol *inside joke* so yeah I woke up today type early (2 PM to be exact) and I had a random burst to play Just Dance 3. Lol I have no idea what was wrong with me but I feel quite happy … eww I’m smiling. One More Time - J Bizz, currently jammin to this song which I love :3 ahh he put me on on HELLA music … OMFG J Bizz retweeted my tweet about him the other day *fan girls like a mofo* Right By My Side - Nicki Minaj ft. Chris Brown, been hearing this song since April. April, that was one good month :’) my first date with this child >.< and we both find out about my cousin sucking dick ……………….. LOL WHUT .____. I still have the movie tickets :’) I showed them to him last night on Skype :T memories really are forever. I can’t say I wanna move on but I need a “distraction”, something/someone to make me think less in him even though like 80% of the things/people around make me think in him .-. Like I seem Foamposites and I think of him, like I have issues bruh. FUCK A DISTRACTION I ALWAYS WANT HIM ON MY MIND.
 

August 9th 2012 - 12:40 AM 



Only few people get to meet the real me, the girl to the right, the girl full of pain and sorrow, the girl that has been through so much shit but still gets up everyday and laughs.

 




Fuck it lol.

 



 
Boy put your hands up, give me a standing ovation.





Free soul.





Power and Control.
 




That smile is the smile of VICTORY.


Today was quite nice. Like I didn’t do shit to be honest, but staying home all day and just talking to him makes me happy and I took those killers pics lololol tempt me mo’fuckasss cuase that body has one owner and I love him to DEATH so no one can go over him NO ONE … not even Drake, hence the fact that I love Drake a lot.

Ughhh this morning I had the only feels to orgasmic music and in need of an orgasm :x I discovered “Marina & The Diamonds” and that lead me to listen to awesome songs by Lana Del Rey like “Dark Paradise” that perfectly describes my relationship with Jeff .__.


August 10th 2012


The Titanic rose from the dead and brought vengance to every shipwreck in history …. LOL WHUT. Nahh I just wanted to say something dramatic. So yeah what “interesting” shit shall I write today ? Nothing lol. Life is quite boring, well actually not really. I have some kickass adventures, which of one day I seriously need to publish a book. 


“I may have the simplest smile on my face, yet I see a glimpse of your sadness & insecurity & soon you’ll read this & feel it deep inside that nothing is ok but still we have to act as if we live a certain epitomy of perfection.” ~March 9th - Yours Truely.


So my stalking ass is stalking myself because last night Jeff said that he commented on a video of mines back in Febuary and then we started talking and it was like that O.o Like our story has 3 parts .__. Meeting in October and then commenting on my videos that stalker :3 and then March 5th my ass drooling falling alseep on my locker .____. and then he woke me up, quite romantic LOL. Ahhh memories :’)


That awkward moment when a close friend of yours, WHOM IS A GIRL, likes you .__. ehh okay. Like you’re on of my best friends D: and I always babble to you about this nigga >.< ughh wtf yooo -.- Idc our friendship will still permenance u_u
 

Ahh I’m just in love with Channel Orange. Frank Ocean’s new album is quite intrigueing. And yes I italicized that word lololol gahhh I’m so bored x___x where the fuck is Jeff yoo -.-
 

Soo this kid Allan askes me if I would ever send a “pic” to anyone other than Jeff, MO’FUCKAA YOU CRAZY ?!?! What type of question is that though nigga -.- Like ughh I know he didn’t wanna be rude but go that way ——-> he’s sweet and that’s it and yeah lol. I love assholes, Jeff is perf, he is the cutest yet herb yet asshole yet fucking awesome :3


August 11th 2012


This is what makes us girls

We all look for heaven and we put our love first

Somethin’ that we’d die for, it’s our curse

Don’t cry about it, don’t cry about it

This is what makes us girls

We don’t stick together ‘cause we put our love first

Don’t cry about him, don’t cry about him

It’s all gonna happen

-Lana Del Rey ~ This Is What Makes Us Girls.



This song touches me soo much, like “we don’t stick together, ‘cause we put our love first” I let go of some of my friends for Jeff. Why ? Because: A. They were FAKE AS FUCK. B. They didn’t like him AT ALL and were complete hypocrites with him AND me. C. I still love them because they’re MY girlfriends, no matter what we love eachother and take eachother’s bullshit. THIS is what makes US girls.

Well yeah anyways, I’m here babysitting my little cousin while my aunt and uncle are clubbing … well actually it’s a get together of my aunt’s high school friends. Well while I have the pc and my earphones I’m good (y) I wonder where Jeff is O.o like I wanna Skype with him while I have free crib :3 ahh I need to officially make my bucket list. When I turn 19 and he turns 18, stripper club bound 8) lmaoo I’m a weirdo, but yet again … I … don’t … give … a … FLYING FUCK ABOUT WHAT ANYONE SAYS ABOUT ME :D *sticks both middle fingers proudly*



Most of my friends are against my love for this child, like i love you girls and shit but let me be, let me fuck up ALONE and I know I won’t fuck up this time because I can feel it, I can feel that this time someone has put themselves before me. I can name the people that really care about me on one hand: my aunt, my uncle, my grandmother, and H I M. No one else. No one else would die for me or even think about me if they don’t get something out of it smhh.


“Then we fuck all night ‘till things get right” ♥ Drake ♥ 


 LA LA LA LA LA I WANT A BURRITO ._______. LOL K BAI.



August 12th, 2012



I feel like shit. I feel horrible. I’m tired, everything hurts. I was in shock last night, found out something that I was gonna find out eventually but like always my curious ass ALWAYS does this. But I appreciate the honesty. Pain is always here so I rather just deal with it like I always do. I feel emotionally horrible but when you love someone things change. I just want the months and years to pass so I can be with him without any troubles. I just wanna be happy yoo. And to top it off, my earphones broke -_- now I have to listen to music until tmrw on a pair of shitty cvs earphones -_-.





I thought I looked pretty. I just needed a smile. Maybe it’ll help me feel better.

 

Looking forward to tmrw, gonna go to 42nd St. & Times Square with my aunt and little cousin. And while we’re at it buy some earphones. YOO I’M SO FUCKING TIRED UGHH -___- CONO QUE MIERDA EH A VER. Asdfghjkl; Lana Del fucking Rey, God bless your musical soul though.


Btw, my first gif: 




So I’m here on Tumblr and I stumble upon a sketch of blue feathers. Oh the blue feathers. Like 4 years ago my mother brought me a dream catcher from Alaska, where I was born. Well before I had that dream catcher I use to have this dream of me, naked, wearing nothing but blue feathers. Since that day I cherish my dream catcher, of blue feathers. 




 



Something is deeply wrong with me LOL ._____. I had a burst of energy teehee. *pacaw* I am a bird and I fly. high. in the sky. with other birds. *pacaw* 



August 13th 2012


Fuck everything, okay ? I simply hate my fucking life, it’s pointless as fuck. Like the only good things that have happened MAYBE are meeting Jeff, getting a barbie house when I was 5, getting my a blackberry last year (which I do not own anymore), and maybe moving over here to nyc. That’s how fucking horrible my life is -_- well I’ve met awesome people and had crazy adventures but everything else SUCKS. How the fuck I tell my father, on the phone last night, that I’m not gonna go to fucking DR and NOT go to my old school. Like I need to go back there or my whole future is fucked up -.- I need english credits to go to college over here. Not only do I have to fuck up with my education but the fact that the ONE person, boy to be exact, that actually gives two fucks about me, I must leave and maybe never see till I’m 18 or next summer -.- fuck life yooo. 



LOL so today my Grandmother, whom is the biggest hypocritical bitch EVERRR, BUT I love her :3, tells me that my father said to tell my “boyfriend” to pay my education -_________- *middle fingers out not* FUCK YOU FATHER OF MINE, FUCK YOU. 


Life’s a game but it’s not fair

I break the rules, so I don’t care

So I keep doin’ my own thing

Walkin’ tall against the rain

- Rihanna, Run This Town ft. Jay-z & Kanye West



Imma go somewhere ughh -.- I need to fly or some shit lol :-[






I’m fucking cute juu heardd >:OOOOOO



 



Trololol ~







Fuck off & carry on. 



August 14th 2012



Derp ._. Today was quite ehhh, a fail, I guess you could say. I went to the movies and saw “The Bourne Legacy”. Like I love Bourne and shit, BUT OMFG this was the stupidest, worst movie ever -.- Like the ending was pointless as fuck but whatever, I’m not gonna spoil it for anyone. AND the movie theater was FULL of old people O.o like wtf, it was like WWII combatants lmaoo. Well anyways I took some nice pics today :3 :







Idk I just love this picture, like I seem so happy, but I just love it, so simple, so ME.




 

“If you’re photographing in color, you show the color of their clothes, if you use black and white, you will show the color of their soul.” ♥


CUNTS. CUNTS EVERYWHERE. *o* 



Where’s Jeff D: Tumblr is sooo time consuming though *-* It’s like sex. EHHH HOLD UP. REWIND. I DIDN’T SAY THAT. It’s like aaahh … ehhh … an addicting website ._.



August 15th 2012



Nehh I failed today at waking up early to go to 42nd St. Oh gosh I need to get my shit together. Well lessons learned today:   I really sucked at shit that is timed, like ughh I hate deadlines but it’s for some “important” shit LOL *inside joke* And looks like I’m staying here in NYC, who knows ? Less pc, less phone, and “more” sleep. Let’s try to accomplish this :3 Took pics today ^.^ But not for Tumblr ~ I am a beast, rawrr motherfucker.



12:36 AM August 18th 2012 



Motherfuckers ~ Hellur :3 Yeah my lazy ass didn’t feel like getting up a while ago to write so yeahh. Well recently … my life is type gay. Perooo today this motherfucking cunt of my grandmother and aunt (my cousin’s mother (cousin who turned 19 today and is a virgin LOL)) Sooo eta’ aquerosa (this dirty girl, I guess you could translate … O.o) says that tmrw if I’m going to the party I should wear jeans -.- Bitch is too motherfucking hot for me to wear them shits like tuhhh -.- Sooo my ignorant ass grandmother then says that it’s probably because of my cousins friends that are gonna be over there and THEN says that just because I had sex a “few times” LOLOLOLOLOLOL YEAH SUREE LOLOLOLOLOLOL that I shouldn’t want to fuck every guy in front of me. Nigga say whut ??? THIS OLD HAG IGNORANT ASS MOTHAFUCKING CUNT BITCH WHALE JUST  CALLED ME A SLUT. WELL FOR YOUR INFORMATION I HAVE ONE BODY AND IT’S GONNA BE ONE BODY FOR FUCKING YEARS -_____- Fuck I know you can’t choose your family but like what the fuck.


On the brightside, if there really is one … Ehhh uhmmm yeahh .___. I like pie and food and penis (I mean I do not like vagina LOL) Omfgggg my uncle bought me cute ass geeky shirts ^O^ herb life on deck :3 ~ ^^ And Jeff said they were waveey :’) I know send him a pic of everything o.o ;) ELE OH ELE no pun intended though, even though if there’s like a wink face there …  Soo yeah school starts on monday, in DR, blah -.- OMFG I NEED TO STAY HERE >:OOOOOO


I got a new phone :333 Well my aunt found it in a park and I hard resetted it :3 I feel like a hacker but I’m not rooting my new shit u_u soo yeah Imma write tmrwww (later lolololol) because I can talk to ~him~ until like 1:30 AM -.- ughhh fuck it though :T I love my friends lolololol *inside joke* Adios motherfuckers.



August 21st 2012 



Fuckery. This few days have just been that. Enough said.


Like that moment when you’re just calmly fucking scrolling down your newsfeed and you just find out some other bullshit. Like okay God, I get it, everything in my fucking life sucks, like wtf man. Like why must things just get worst, why can’t I kinda be happy ? And btw looks like I’m really staying here in NYC, living a personal hell of course and at school :T I just fucking wish shit would get better like wtf. I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY, WHY CAN’T BE FUCKING HAPPY :’( Fuck this shit yoo.


Went to that birthday party btw and it sucked ass. Things at home have been somewhat okay and my passport arrives by the end of the week but I’m staying so I don’t fucking know. I don’t even care anymore, like if I do go to DR, I somewhat might be happier but I love him. I just had to love him. Like the night of that party so many things happened, that I almost thought I lost him, I got so scared, like I’m used to people coming into my life and then leave but he’s special, I know he would never intentionally hurt me, but THEN AGAIN, TRUST    NO    ONE. 



Imma live on a farm with lots of cats and train them to bring me ice cream in bed, thug life u_u toodles motherfuckers ~ until I feel like getting up and writing again.



It’s like a never ending road of bullshit and fuckery …


 

August 22nd 2012 



HOLLAS MOTHERFUCKERS :333333333 LMFAOOO I’M MAD HYPER GDSKLLGLDSL GDHSGLKSLK >:OOOOOOOOOOO WEGSHKDALGLDSLGF LDGSKILGLI :3 I got my hurr done today juu already snoww like yurrr *jersey girl accent* LMFAOOO pero my hurr look mah purty and shiz, I’m sooo fabulosaa, juu knowww fabulosooo what spanish women clean wittt, ayy gran mieldaaaa ! 



LMFAOOOOO, okay serious time now :3 LOLOLOLOL NOO MO’FUCKASSS AHHH :’D Went to Queens and got my hair cut and done :-[ like it’s shorter pero I look soo sessy ;] lmfaooo I’m soo hyper o.o Like the energizer bunny on crack LALALALALALALA PUTAS >:OOOOO 



Nahh pero deadass why am I soo hyper o.o ? Well ANYWAYS ehh Imma make some major changes to my life >.> *drake voice :3* lolololol I realized some things today, I need to seriously grow the fuck up yooo :o and I need to stop being such a bitch to ~him~ :T he deserves lots of my lovee :3 I love you :* C&S&C&S&C&S <3 lolololol. School ahh looking forward to it this year A LOT, my girls and I gonna start fucking shit up early BUT by fucking shit up I mean papers and pens, CAUSE WE GONNA BE WORKING MAAAAD HARDD LMFAOO *trolling success* I should probably go now before I write weirder shit .___. MERRRRRR MERRRRRRRR MERRRRRRRRRRRR MERRRRRRRRRRR MERRRRRRRRR I AM A FUCKING MOOSE BITCHES MERRRRRR MERRRRR MERRRRRRR …


WHUT .___. ^





Purrtyyy mee :3 lololol



August 23rd 2012



Karaoke by Drake just started playing as soon as I began to type, THIS IS A SIGNNNNN. That song makes me think in him :T back in March :’) daammnn almost 6 months ago things were so different but I don’t wish things to be like before, I like how everything is, well not really, but oh wells I can’t ask for a lot in life :T I only wish to be happy and I’m staying here in NYC, THAT makes me happy enough *sigh* Imma just go to school, do my homework, get a job and try to survive in this bullshit society. I know many things are gonna happen but imma just go with the flow :) I only wish that idk I was picked … but anyways … I just can’t stop it, I can’t get over this pain I feel like I wish things were different, like in movies, where everyone is mistakenly perfectly happy in their own little world ~ Pero shit can’t be like that.


Spent my day reading and just thinking, living in my little bubble of monotomical boredom *sigh again* I haven’t really spoken to him today or lately, like these few days :T I feel as if he has lost love for me, I know I fuck up and do dumb shit but I love him. 


Ne-Yo - Miss Independant «« Imma be her, not living alone or being alone, but in spirit, to get up everyday and just smile and be like I can be happy without any given reason :) 



What you mean I ain’t call you?

I hit you when I landed

I’m waiting in my hotel room

seems like we are arguing more and it’s getting less romantic

yeah, I think she’ll be able to tell soon

but I fuck you right I will

I fuck you right I will

I’ll fuck you like no one has ever ever made you feel

I mean it’s part of our relationships, amazing still

I might just put up with the arguing and stay for real

you looking mad, girl for goodness sakes

you with all those curves and me without no breaks

ooh, I’m willing to work it out however long it takes you

you feel like you miss those happy days well girl that makes two of us

Our timing is wrong

your friends always tying up every line on your phone

yeah but tell them bitches that you’ll always be my missus

and the hardest part about the fucking business is minding your own

uhh, and everytime I try and break it off

we just yell until we tired then I break you off

it’s useless all this fighting lets get past it now

even when I throw them deuces you just send it back around

 

Those words »> Deuces ~ Drake (remix) It touches me. I hate feeling other people’s feelings, like I wish people felt certain things for me but I have to just take shit how it is, like what the fuck man -.- the bold and italiced words are special to me, for a certain person … bye cunts. 


 

August 24th 2012

 

Depressing day.Miss him. Going shopping tmrw though. Bye, I’m not feeling good at all.


 

August 28th 2012




Hellur niggers ^.^ Yeah 4 days without being on this because I was being going to parties, shopping and I’m sick -.- but everything right now is good and I feel quite awesome, good things to come to those who wait. Now gotta get that 93+ GPA and a job and I’m all set and get my “sexual game up there” lmfaooo I can’t sometimes but oh wells. Yeah not much to write but just ehh TURTLESSSS. OMFG PLL TODAY WAS AFDGHJKL TOBY IS A OMFG. Lmaoo.





Seeing double, making triple ✌ 




Imma get that paperrr soonnnn putas :3 soooo au revoir ! 3.05.12 my favorite day of 2012 :3 <3 




OMFG MAD EXCITED JEFF IS LANDING IN LIKE 4 HRS, I’M FEELING SO FUCKING ASDFGHJKL’ CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HIM :D Even though he’s not allowed in my house :T whatever I MUST see him, just run into his arms :’) well yeah I just was gonna write that :P back to doing my summer reading assignment and watch Pretty Woman :3 ~




September 14th 2012



Haven’t been here in a whileeeeeeeeee, well school is just FUCKING AWESOME and I have digital photography :3 soo yeah my pics, well some of them: 










September 16th 2012




So my dumbass got drunk AS FUCK last night … went to Stephanie’s Sweet 16 AND my little cousin’s birthday party, I am too Swerveee lmfaooo nevaaa. Well yeah everything right now is cool, well last night I did so many stupid things and he got so mad :T Like I have a crush on this guy and yeah. But I love him and think about him no matter what. HE is my everything, maybe one day in the future we can be completely each other’s, with the exception of me not having any social networks LOL. Nahh but deadass, ughh I really fucked up last night BUTTT:





Sunglasses and advils, last night was mad real :3 



Well yeah imma try to stop being so lazy and even if I am busy to write in this shitttt. Deuces CUNTASSS ! :3 





September 17th 2012




Merrr had a fun ass day with le bros :3 andd ehhh Happy Birthday dad and R.I.P. to my cousin’s dad that died today too :T anyways, PICS :D :








ASAP MOB SWAG »>






Merrrrpp >.> I like it, idkk





It’s blurry but fuck it. Fuck fly, I AM fashion.





GET NOTIFIED BITCHES.





Head high, middle finger higher. 


 

1:04AM - October 6th, 2012




Shit has been hectic. Secrets spread and friendships broken, mad shit been happening though but I’m not gonna quit for anything. Imma fight for him NO MATTER WHAT, no matter how many times I fuck up :T I need to get my shit together to keep and him and like omfg I could honestly have other guys .___. but I dubb them for ~him~. Today, well yesterday (October 5th) I put on “that dress”, the one I wore when we went to the movies and broke from our “friend boundaries”. Today was fucking crazy man. Honestly I shouldn’t even be surprised of the shit that happens in my life anymore pero fuck it. Omfg I’m so bored, I really should write on this shit more but I be lazy and forgetting and too much interesting shit happens to me anyways and that means a lot of writing and shit. Merppp I’m a cat, that flys and farts rainbows, NYAN CAT BITCH. Clique clique clique clique, THEY WANT THE DEEEEEEEEEEEEKAAAAAAAAHHHHH, anyways pics :3 







I’m Tupac bitch.






THAT dress has history :3






I wish I could wrap up my whole life in 24K of Gold .. 

 

December 16th 2012 - 1:11 AM

 

It’s been a while since I write in this. I’ve been quite busy, SATs, even though I am still a junior. I like doing things ahead, being prepared for the future even though my life right now is complicated. I did things I shouldn’t have done and I can’t even write them, it’ll destory too much. Like Machiavelli once said, the end justifies the means, but my end was horrible. I move on from my mistakes though, but yet I still am dealing with a “mistake” I guess. No. Jeff isn’t a mistake, not at all, he’s complicated of course, but I love him. We still see each other and anyone that has shit to say about us can blow the grip and I say us because there is an us. He has affected my family, friends, education but hes made me a better person. I’ve grown. I love him, so fucking much, and idc whoever the fuck is in between us, because bitch you ain’t shit. Oh how I miss SAT Prep, a simple excuse to be with him; I did go to SAT Prep though lol. Just laying in his arms is heavenly, no one makes me feel the way he does, NO ONE. 
 

“You know your booty look good with your confident ass.” Confident I am and I know my ass is fucking beautiful, excuse me if I sound cocky, which I’m not. ~Fuck THIS and YOUR “pretty” face, because it’s really not that pretty, it’s an understatement. Until another time, blog of mines. I hope I get a high score on my SATs so I can go to Columbia and then live wtih Jeff lol, I dream high but I AM going to marry him, even if I have to kill a bitch or TWO, or FOUR or some niggas. NO ONE. NO FUCKING ONE.
 

Imma be 17 next month omfg. I won’t be seventeen forever so Imma fuck shit up, lmao no I won’t, I’m pussy.




March 25th, 2013



Damn, I know I’m late as shit to write in this but yeah, crazy shit happening, my bro ain’t wanna be my bro no more, if you know what I mean (think dirty) but I can’t do it, I don’t want to, I made a year with my boo :3 I cooked for him and made passionate love LULZ, LULZ, LUUUUULLLZZZZZ. So yeah, everything is like aiight, you could say. Failed Health, fuck that. I shall write soon, Happy New Year btw, lmfao.



April 6th, 2013



And then there was no love … 



April 12th - 12:36 AM 


And then the love burned brighter and consumed us both …


April 15th, 2013 - 1:38 AM


I wish he loved me, loved me the way he loves her, because I know he doesn’t love me at all. Fuck.




April 17th, 2013


A year ago I had sex for the first time with someone who means, meant the world to me, cause it’s painful as shit right now, like it’s truely over and I’m not gonna fight anymore, because I need to accept it. It’s fucking over.


Feel like my love life is finished
I’ve been avoiding commitment
That’s why I’m in this position

I’m scared to let somebody in on this“ 


This is how it’s gonna be now, I don’t wanna fall in traps, in bullshit, in tears, in heartbreak, I can’t, I don’t want to.


Funny of me to say that I don’t love him, that I didn’t think in him today, that I didn’t go to his Instagram, that I didn’t check if he was online on Skype, more like stupid of me. I can’t forget someone so important in a day, a week, or a month, maybe even a year. I’m just here replaying “Girls Love Beyonce” by Drake and crying, like I said I wasn’t gonna cry, but the pain was too great. 

“Well that’s behind us” 


Just like he said it.


If he comes back, which he most likely won’t, idk what I’ll do cause I’m tired of the tears and pain and bullshit.


Good shit can happen though, new people, new places to go, less monotomy …

 

May 26th, 2013

 

Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful ?

 

Well in a week a ruined it all, I hope he knows I did love him and no matter what, will love him forever. It’s over. 

 

Life continues though, it always does.

 

Time for change, good change.